HEAD-BANGING ON NOTHINGNESS

Saturday, August 20, 2011

I have danced on live beats of the Dhol with a blurr of colors all around me and i have danced on the random-est of disoc songs in front of the mirror with my room's door locked but i have never head-banged crazy on 'nothing-ness'.
Nothing that can be heard, at least. Its just head-banging on the high of life, on chocolate and caffeine and laughter and adrenaline.
I have given up listening to music for Ramadan and hoping i will continue without it even after Ramadan (do not argue over the haram or halal-ness of music please). Do not judge me for i am trying to change but my past will still remain as it is.
I still smile and cry but i didn't still expect to be head-banging or moving my fingers on the keys of a non-existent paino or tapping my feat with such a rythem. And its better, better than how it used to be because there is no feeling of guiltiness involved. I am not limited by the direction of the music and there is no pause where the feeling is lost.
I am blessed with the sense to feel the happy beats of life but not everyone is, so yea, i still have to keep the door locked.

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