Saturday, August 20, 2011

I have danced on live beats of the Dhol with a blurr of colors all around me and i have danced on the random-est of disoc songs in front of the mirror with my room's door locked but i have never head-banged crazy on 'nothing-ness'.
Nothing that can be heard, at least. Its just head-banging on the high of life, on chocolate and caffeine and laughter and adrenaline.
I have given up listening to music for Ramadan and hoping i will continue without it even after Ramadan (do not argue over the haram or halal-ness of music please). Do not judge me for i am trying to change but my past will still remain as it is.
I still smile and cry but i didn't still expect to be head-banging or moving my fingers on the keys of a non-existent paino or tapping my feat with such a rythem. And its better, better than how it used to be because there is no feeling of guiltiness involved. I am not limited by the direction of the music and there is no pause where the feeling is lost.
I am blessed with the sense to feel the happy beats of life but not everyone is, so yea, i still have to keep the door locked.

Friday, August 5, 2011

I am extremely sleepy. No that is not what this post is about in fact i don't even know what this post is about(like always) but i have really been wanting to write something since the last few months but i mostly forget as soon as i turn my laptop on or if i ever get as far as opening my blog i stare at the blank screen for a few minutes and then log out of blogger.
Mostly i use my other blog for such senseless posts but then nothing is left for this one so i have decided *backspaceeeeeed*. By the way Who likes reading useless and confused thoughts of others?other than me that is.
My life has become so organized and busy lately its getting hard to come up with senseless stuff and yet i refuse to write anything worthwhile tonight.
About the organized life bit yea i am not really missing those endless hours of doing nothing and just thinking how it wouldn't really have made a difference if i did not exist. It would have of course, you wouldn't be reading this if i had not existed! - that is if anyone ever is reading this-
No i love my life and all that m doing with it and i had to get to that so abruptly because my life-with-all-its-usefulness is calling me! bye.